I recalled 2 Fridaes ago.... I couldn't even bring myself to face you !! when the whole thing blew up !!
I wasnt exactly angry with u ... there was no reason for me to..... I was bitterly disappointed !!
Disappointed coz U hv to keep bringing up that statement.... I cannot buy that then .... & was awfully upset with u .... I felt so hurt ... Words juz cannot express the feeling I went thru then ....
I was so torn .... should I juz leave U forever or shld I stick on to u & treated nothing ever happened !! I couldnt think straight at that point !! It was liken a thousand missiles had attacked me in my mind and body ..... confused with the kind of pain I am going thru ....
I felt really blessed to have so many friends by my side with me .... and on my side .... I felt like ... Oh !! I have won this battle !!! but that was not what I really wanted .... I dun need everybody to be on my side .... I juz longed so much for - .... hiaz !!!
2 weeks passed .... & these 2 weeks hadnt been ok .... to start w/ it was never fun !! The outings I went seemed so fun and enjoyable .... but I couldnt feel it ... I juz smiled & laughed along with the rest of them .... but I felt the yr absence. Itz juz not the same !! Itz no longer like b4 !! I had somehow missed that particular laughter !! that particular grin, that particular glare ....
Was a bit tough in the very beginning ..... but thank God for HIS sovereign hand over this entire session.
Wat started as a closed-to-walk-off session ended with the alot of understanding and I'm glad it prevailed .... thru it I could only thank God for His presence was felt !!! The miracle of trusting in HIM and leaving everything into His hands.... in everything U do, begin with a lil' prayer together, that made that difference !!! God always watches over u !!!
Juz when one thot everything came to a close & finally saw light .... It is actually the beginning of a great test !!! A test that only God knows the result .....
To persevere & press on or move off and back off ..... ??? ???
I really do not know ..... I wished the ans cld juz fall on my lap .... I wished I cld hv the courage to do wat I wld do many years ago .....
No matter wat the decision is .... I only know one thing !!! The pain will always be there !!!
Wat started as a closed-to-walk-off session ended with the alot of understanding and I'm glad it prevailed .... thru it I could only thank God for His presence was felt !!! The miracle of trusting in HIM and leaving everything into His hands.... in everything U do, begin with a lil' prayer together, that made that difference !!! God always watches over u !!!
Juz when one thot everything came to a close & finally saw light .... It is actually the beginning of a great test !!! A test that only God knows the result .....
To persevere & press on or move off and back off ..... ??? ???
I really do not know ..... I wished the ans cld juz fall on my lap .... I wished I cld hv the courage to do wat I wld do many years ago .....
No matter wat the decision is .... I only know one thing !!! The pain will always be there !!!
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